Timing ...
Might not be everything, but, as you age, it gets more relevant
I think it fully hit me when I stepped (was I pushed??) into my sixties. It became crystal clear that the time I had left was not as long as the time I had already lived. It felt as if, stretching out my hands forward, I could almost touch the end. Perhaps it was to do with my Pop’s death and watching peers getting ill or dying.
That is what starts to happen at this age.
I began to tell a funny story (to me anyway; not sure my daughters thought so!) about how it would be so very helpful to know exactly when you are going to die because it would sooooo aid managing finances.
I could budget right up to day zero. Now that would make great timing.
Getting the timing right or wrong can have big consequences when you are older. Counter intuitively, research1 tells us that getting a mobility walker or scooter can be the death knell for mobility for some, but it can also offer freedom for those who get the timing right. I think these things are as much psychological as they are physical. The comfort and security of concrete support when moving about, can boost confidence in the elderly. But if used too early it can be a slippery slope. Perhaps there are other ways to boost self confidence at this stage in life?
My friend is spending a LOT of money building the perfect bungalow. He is very fit and well for his age, does yoga more than once a week, goes to salsa and walks everywhere. And yet he is pre-empting not being able to get up the stairs. I have no idea if this is good timing or if he is setting himself up for premature ageing?
My Great Grandmother went upstairs to bed every night until she died at 101.
When I moved to Cheltenham last year, it was a big downsize. Not in terms of floor space (but my new garden is teeny compared to what I had) but rather downsizing 16 years worth of stuff!. It proved to be a massive undertaking (the loft space was floor to rafters stacked) and took me two years; slow work, most weekends clearing and cleaning as I went along. I couldn’t imagine doing such a move in my seventies although I know people do. The physicality of the move is one thing, the emotional letting go another. And then you are tasked with settling into a new place, making a new home and finding your way into the next stage of life. Something to be done when you still have the energy and resilience. And being single I took the load solo.
Having the capacity to look ahead once you hit say, 60, and make these big life decisions is predicated on one’s capacity to face mortality. This is not for everyone. Many stay in the family home long after it has become unmanageable because the change would mean acknowledging that there is a limit to the time left. And not everyone wants to face that.
I think having a little honest word with yourself; openly facing the end in sight (even though it may still be a couple of decades away) is the best way to get personal timing right.
LOve Sarah
Photo by José Pinto on Unsplash
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2214140515000201#:~:text=From%20a%20health%20literature%20perspective,the%20health%20of%20its%20user.